May 22, 2009

23/05/09

Grandma died five years ago. I saw my kindergarten teachers five years ago, at her funeral. They weren't much younger than her, and I realize that for some people five years is quiet a length of time. But not for me. I don't really feel time.

The thing is, five years could be just three months ago for me, and I wouldn't see the difference. Anything that happened long, long ago could be just yesterday, and it would feel the same. If I was changing--if my life was changing--time would feel more solid, more real. But I still wear my hair long, I still don't live alone, I still feel like a 15 year old sometimes, and I still don't have anyone.

I'm still me five years ago, only older.

It doesn't matter if anybody knows about me or reads what I write. I still have the feelings I had five years ago, and they're still holding me back from doing things I should've done already. When I was twelve, I wanted to wake up fifteen, all grown up and different. Same went for when I was fifteen. I wanted to be eighteen and free. But nothing changes. At least not enough for me to notice.

Maybe cause I'm still me, and I always expected to be someone better than I used to be, at least five years ago.

8 comments:

Emma said...

This is totally true, and not just for you, Lyssa, but for me too.

(btw, good to see you back)

Pavel said...

That's cause perfection can not be improved.

Vendetta said...

Omg, ppl are still checking in?

Pavel said...

hard to get rid of 'em, ehh? :)

Emma said...

Well, I am. I still have you bookmarked!

YOU SHALL NEVER BE RID OF ME. :D

Vendetta said...

@Emma

Ahh... Cool! I have some blogs I subscribed to in my blogger profile, but i have to log in to see updates.

Anonymous said...

Howdy,

I am regular visitor of this website[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url]bigirlpanties.blogspot.com really contains lot of useful information. Let me tell you one thing guys, some time we really forget to pay attention towards our health. Here is a fact for you. Recent Scientific Research indicates that about 60% of all United States grownups are either chubby or overweight[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url] Therefore if you're one of these individuals, you're not alone. Infact many among us need to lose 10 to 20 lbs once in a while to get sexy and perfect six pack abs. Now next question is how you can achive quick weight loss? Quick weight loss can be achived with little effort. If you improve some of your daily diet habbits then, its like piece of cake to quickly lose weight.

About me: I am author of [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips]Quick weight loss tips[/url]. I am also mentor who can help you lose weight quickly. If you do not want to go under painful training program than you may also try [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/acai-berry-for-quick-weight-loss]Acai Berry[/url] or [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/colon-cleanse-for-weight-loss]Colon Cleansing[/url] for quick weight loss.

Anonymous said...

After I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when
new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added
I receive four emails with the same comment.

Is there an easy method you are able to remove me from
that service? Thanks!

Check out my site: dental implants Cost