Grandma died five years ago. I saw my kindergarten teachers five years ago, at her funeral. They weren't much younger than her, and I realize that for some people five years is quiet a length of time. But not for me. I don't really feel time.
The thing is, five years could be just three months ago for me, and I wouldn't see the difference. Anything that happened long, long ago could be just yesterday, and it would feel the same. If I was changing--if my life was changing--time would feel more solid, more real. But I still wear my hair long, I still don't live alone, I still feel like a 15 year old sometimes, and I still don't have anyone.
I'm still me five years ago, only older.
It doesn't matter if anybody knows about me or reads what I write. I still have the feelings I had five years ago, and they're still holding me back from doing things I should've done already. When I was twelve, I wanted to wake up fifteen, all grown up and different. Same went for when I was fifteen. I wanted to be eighteen and free. But nothing changes. At least not enough for me to notice.
Maybe cause I'm still me, and I always expected to be someone better than I used to be, at least five years ago.
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8 comments:
This is totally true, and not just for you, Lyssa, but for me too.
(btw, good to see you back)
That's cause perfection can not be improved.
Omg, ppl are still checking in?
hard to get rid of 'em, ehh? :)
Well, I am. I still have you bookmarked!
YOU SHALL NEVER BE RID OF ME. :D
@Emma
Ahh... Cool! I have some blogs I subscribed to in my blogger profile, but i have to log in to see updates.
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